So.

So, my mother sent me a birthday card.  First contact in two years, I think, and first sane contact in probably 4 years.  It was a nice note–she has me in her thoughts and loves me, basically.  Nothing beyond that, but what was there was genuine, and I think it was a brave thing for her to do, and probably quite difficult.  She did not sign my stepfather’s name to the card, which I know would have been extremely difficult.

So, what to do?  I do think I want to respond in a polite, mild way.  Thank her for the card, express my hope that she is doing well, say that we are all doing well, and sign off.

Any thoughts on this plan?

I’m not sure she has any agenda beyond letting me know she loves me and thinks about me.  I am content to receive that greeting and toss back a similar one, and hope that it pretty much dies there.

I feel like I should be freaking out about this, but I’m not at all.  I was kind of surprised to see the card, but not shocked.  I figured something would come at some point.  I was mostly surprised by how I didn’t react.  I mean, I didn’t go numb.  I just didn’t experience it as as big of a deal as I expected to experience it as.  I don’t think there’s a flip-out hiding under the surface, either.

Right now I’m super tired and I can barely even see this screen.  I’m getting a cold or something.

The only other thing I want to post is that my therapist is the best in the world, and I have lots more to say about that in another post, I’m sure.  She’s beyond great.